A comprehensive solution to the question of free will

I posit that this question is answerable -- in fact I'd go as far as to say that it's rather trivial, if approached correctly. My claim there seems to contradict the fact that virtually all serious attempts to answer the question are lengthy and convoluted. I think the fundamental problem is in our approach.

Debates about free will invariably become mired in a heap of conflicting definitions and unstated assumptions. Furthermore, we tend to frame the question as though it has an absolute answer. I think a better approach is to ask: Do we have x definition of free will, given y set of assumptions about the world?

To that end, I've drawn up a matrix in an attempt to comprehensively answer the question of free will. It covers many of the properties that are commonly associated with free will. Want to know whether we or not we have free will? Just pick your worldview on the horizontal, and the properties of free will you think are correct / meaningful on the vertical, and let the magical matrix do the philosophy for you:

(Click for full size)

Some clarifications:
Presumably we don't have access to a truly random decision generator, so consider it there as a thought experiment. I included it to illustrate how some of the aspects of free will (listed on the vertical) are meaningfully distinct.

For further clarification, see the associated diagram which helps visualise the distinctions I've made about ways of escaping determinism: Click here.